Published on April 1st, 2008 | by Timothy B. Hurst4
Bush Administration Seeks Endangered Species Status for the Elusive ‘Climate Skeptic’
In a stunning reversal of direction, the Bush administration has officially requested a new addition to the Endangered Species list. What threatened species could elicit this drastic change of course for the Bush Administration? It is, of course, the elusive Climate Change Skeptic (dubium mundus fervesco), whose habitat is being threatened by rational thinking, increased rates of deforestation, low gas-mileage standards, and the abundance of “cheap” coal. The stunning news comes just after a story in the Washington Post reported that the current administration has never requested that an animal be protected by the Endangered Species Act. Of the current administration’s 59 listed species, none of them were requested by the administration themselves.
But the Bush administration is not alone in wanting to protect such skeptics as Fred Singer and Patrick Michaels, in fear that the breed may die out completely in the coming years. Fortunately, the skeptics have received significant funding from coal and oil companies, including ExxonMobil. They also have well-documented connections with public relations firms that have set up industry front groups to sway public opinion and clean up the image of a notoriously dirty fuel. The behavior of Dubium Mundus Fervesco – in the words of one leaked memo – indicates the animals aim to “reposition global warming as theory (not fact).”
Compared to his father’s administration as well as President Clinton’s, George W. Bush has done remarkably little in terms of endangered species protection. Since 2001, Bush has listed 59 species, compared to Clinton’s 521 and Bush senior’s 231. Additionally, Interior Secretary Dirk Kempthorne has not declared a single native species as threatened or endangered since he was appointed nearly two years ago.
One can only hope that this is just the tip of the iceberg, and that this president and future ones will continue to use the Endangered Species Act to protect other imperiled species that are as critical to the political ecosystem as the elusive climate change skeptic.
[Note: The information in this post is for entertainment purposes only and is intended solely as an obligatory April Fools Day gag !]