Kermit Admits that it’s Easy being Green, Resigns
Mr. Kermit Frog revealed on Tuesday to the Associated Press that he has been lying to the American public since his initial appearance in Sesame Street on November 10, 1969.
“I tried keeping it a secret because of the industry,” says Kermit. “The last thing viewers wanted was a hippie puppet telling their kids to stick it to the man. The environment was on the bottom of the political to-do list. Vietnam was raging and we needed to save face–it’s not easy to pilot a show with so many political hurdles in your way. We needed to promote consumerism and nationalism so we wouldn’t be cancelled. It was bad enough that we were urging diversity and acceptance.
“I have decided to keep it a secret until now, and I apologize for a life of lies. I am publicly recognizing that it is easy to be green; we have so many green lifestyle options open to us that there is no way I can keep it a secret anymore. Target sells organic sheets for Pete’s sake!
Although this is his first widespread announcement of his beliefs, Kermit has let others in on his true feelings for a while. For instance, he gave the commencement speech at Southampton College in 1996, emphasizing the importance of conservation. However, he feels like he could have started earlier,
“I should have just stuck to my instincts and rejected what society wanted. I could have used by fame back then to make a difference. I hereby resign from my TV persona–“Kermit the Frog”—and introduce you to my true self—“the amphibian formerly known as Kermit the Frog.” I want to be represented by this symbol:
Kermit is scheduled to tour with Bono in 2009, and will even appear on Bill Maher in the upcoming weeks. He is currently working on converting his multi-million dollar Malibu pad from electric to solar energy.
All this leads us to wonder: what is “The Rainbow Connection” really about?
